disturbing the universe

New Journal Theme.

2010-03-12T03:35:18Z

Why don't my post subjects appear until you click on them. : / That's annoying.

I'll change it later, I was just tired of the white background.

'nightrunner' rambling

2010-03-07T06:45:39Z

Okay I got the third book. And the fourth. haaa.

I'm a bit put off about how up-in-yo-face she's being with Alec and Seregil's relationship in this book, because I really appreciated the subtlety of it in Luck in the Shadows/Stalking Darkness. But they /are/ 'official' now, so I guess it's normal that there'd be more errr romantic interaction. Then again, she focused on it more in the beginning of SD and then put it on the backburner for the middle 3/4 of it, until the very end. I'm only six chapters in so maybe it'll get toned down a little.

Otherwise maaaan I'd forgotten how much I missed these characters in the past three weeks. Actually no I hadn't. But I do like Beka a lot more all the sudden!! in fact, it's past 1 AM and I've had lots of sweet tea, so let me just list my favorite characters in order and elaborate on my feelings for them (in the most spoiler-free way possible even though nobody cares, to be polite).

I DON'T NEED SLEEP.

1. Alec!!!
2. Thero/Captain Rhal
3. Micum/Seregil
4. Nysander/Magyana
5. Kari and the girls.
6. Duke Mardus that handsome devil hurhurr
7. Klia and all the Queen's Horse officers or whatever.

I'm sure you really wanted to know that. let me give you more details, because you are dying to hear more. the collective 'you.'

• Alec is really adorable and sweet but also Captain Awesome in disguise. just read the books, and you can NOT prevent yourself from loving him to bits, or at least just a little. Unless you naturally hate all book protagonists. Some people do. But no seriously if you didn't at least want to fistbump him from here to Mars at "Don't worry. I'll kill the bitch," then you are batty.
• Thero has always been intriguing. he was kind of "Ehhh *awkward wiggly hand motion* Know What I'm Sayin?" for me during the first book and a half, but he upgraded himself to AWESOME at the end of SD. and now at the beginning of Traitor's Moon? suddenly I cannot get enough of this man. You don't know what to expect of him -- a bit like Snape -- so it's always fun to see what he's doing. he seems to be a good guy.
• Captain Rhal was one of those side characters you forget about very easily but then get uber excited when they make a surprise reappearance in a sequel. And his surprise reappearance was marvelous.
• Micum and Seregil. Micum is exactly the type of future husband I want. He is such a great dude. and Seregil is the token Charming, Witty, and Attractive yet Troubled Second-Main-Character that the author expects everyone to love, and everyone does, and so do I, but not as much as I love Alec. sorry bro.
• Nysander = Dumbledore but not, and Magyana = a more friendly McGonagall. there you go.
• Kari is exactly the type of wife I'd want if I wanted a wife. She is the best. And (her&Micum's daughter) Beka is equally as tough & smart as she is. the other sisters are cute too.
• Mardus, because who doesn't enjoy the calculating, pure evil, intelligent, seductive bad guys.
• Klia, Myrhini, Mercalle, Nikides, and the rest of the military folk because they're hardcore, the end.

I am glad that I wasted half an hour typing all that. it's OK because all I could be doing at this moment, alternatively, is reading or sleeping. I will probably go do both now so I can wake up in the morning and regret posting this. much like I did with that Brideshead Revisited rant in December, haha.

disregard that entry from a couple months ago.

2010-03-06T02:45:57Z

Ditched the whole fashion design thing because it's a disaster waiting to happen. I mean, as a career. I still love sewing, I just wouldn't have the patience to do it full-time.

Story of my life!

Unrelated:

NEED THIRD NIGHTRUNNER BOOK NOW

I'm a Quaker? Awesome!!

2010-02-24T01:58:31Z

Saw this linked in Lynn Flewelling's livejournal and thought it would be fun. my results were ... intriguing

Your Results

The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa.

Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking.

How did the Belief-O-Matic do? Discuss your results on our message boards.

1. Liberal Quakers (100%)
2. Unitarian Universalism (99%)
3. Reform Judaism (92%)
4. Neo-Pagan (88%)
5. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (85%)
6. Baha'i Faith (81%)
7. New Age (81%)
8. Mahayana Buddhism (79%)
9. Scientology (74%)
10. New Thought (73%)
11. Sikhism (69%)
12. Theravada Buddhism (63%)
13. Secular Humanism (62%)
14. Orthodox Quaker (60%)
15. Jainism (59%)
16. Hinduism (58%)
17. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (58%)
18. Islam (56%)
19. Orthodox Judaism (56%)
20. Taoism (55%)
21. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (34%)
22. Nontheist (34%)
23. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (32%)
24. Seventh Day Adventist (29%)
25. Jehovah's Witness (21%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (19%)
27. Roman Catholic (19%)

vocal inspirations

2010-02-19T03:05:48Z

REBECCA LUKER!!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTXC29nCClc
(the very operatic soprano voice beginning at 1:10, not the child. or the man. ignore the video part. dude, this kid from the augusta players? his mom used to run the augusta opera, and she KNOWS her. like, they're GOOD FRIENDS. akdjfs.)

PIA DOUWES!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9xgR_X73ws
(the woman, obviously. bad quality.)

and perhaps most importantly, both ladies in this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_UQil4j_i8
that is 'Memory' from the film version of CATS: The Musical.

the young, wide-eyed soprano in the beginning ("Daylight, see the dew on the sunflower") had the voice that, when I first heard it in fifth grade, made me think "I have GOT to be able to sing like that someday." and then watching the rest of the song made me think hey, musical theatre, I think I've got a real passion here.

So it was my first real dream, I guess, to be in the cast of CATS someday. Sounds pretty unrealistic/a bit stupid, and lots of people hate the musical, I realize, but it had the MOST profound effect on me.
If I'm not actually in a production of CATS -- which I probably won't be, seeing as I can't dance -- I at least want to do the song on my own someday. (but if I WERE in the cast, I wouldn't mind playing Grizabella, Sillabub, Demeter, Bombalurina, OR Tantomile ...)

and here's more of that soprano, haha. Veerle someoneorother?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vigM6xxb5WE she comes in at about 3:20. the sound quality is bad in that clip; she sounds much lovelier on dvd, haha.
and the lady playing Grizabella is apparently rather well-known; Elaine Paige. I quite like her, too.
Interesting bit of trivia (for Emma I suppose haha): the big black guy that's singing before her was that big bad guy from A Nightmare Before Christmas. Oogie Boogie, was it?

Done fangirling. had a moment, there.
edit: omg, I just realized I have a Secret Garden tag that I last used in the summer of 2007. this lj is SO OLD.

Newest obsession.

2010-02-15T01:07:33Z

The Nightrunner series.

http://www.sff.net/people/Lynn.Flewelling/

need icons NOW

I really like beautiful things

2010-02-07T07:46:59Z

"Beautiful," while overused across English-speaking nations worldwide, has never been an empty word to me. at least, not when I use it. It doesn't only mean 'visually appealing.'

I'm in one of those talkative moods at 3 AM, you know how it is. So I turn to Livejournal, haha. but that's all I had to say. I don't really need to expound on the subject, I suppose.

i've been obsessing over

2010-02-04T05:11:16Z

looking at colleges, as of late. I've got some interesting programs and schools bookmarked. Funny, because they're all rather high-standard, and yet my grades have been slipping lower and lower.

Icon relevant.

LOL I made some icons

2010-01-25T03:21:23Z

Instead of doing homework or cleaning my room or getting exercise. But there are only three of them!! I'll make more this week probably.

first two are from the picture "eyecandy 3" by wulfmune @ deviantArt, used with permission; second is from a screencap of the R&GaD movie taken by the lj user Wandersfound used ... not with permission but giving credit : D;;

"Are you ready? Here we go."

2010-01-24T08:16:06Z

Nobody ever say that around me again.

but really, I don't know what to say about that film. It was very good of course. My brain just hasn't rebooted itself yet.

I need something happy and pg-rated, stat. I will probably watch a Disney movie tomorrow.

I'm very worried about very many people.

2010-01-08T04:11:08Z

You guys are going to give me gray hair.

Brideshead Revisited.

2009-12-30T07:33:26Z

Anyone who hasn't read the series and happens to stalk my LJ (hai Emma ♥) will probably be very confused and bored by this post. JUST SAYIN'. Look, I wrote a literary analysis during Winter Break, good job self.

I got the BBC series on DVD for Christmas, and have been watching the episodes late at night for the past few evenings. I'm kind of on a high of it. Its theme is my main cell ringtone. The copy of the novel is sitting in front of me and I have the 2008 film up on Megavideo. Which, I have realized, kind of sucks. I mean, not because it's completely rearranged the plot, theme and characters of the original novel (which it did), but it just wasn't put together very well at all. It moreso should be titled Brideshead Revisited By Someone Who Was Never Actually There or something to that effect OK whatever moving on. Contrary to what it seems, this isn't a complaint about the new movie, it's a reflection on the story as a whole, haha. It's been in the back of my mind for a while.

While watching it on Megavideo, I said to myself "WAIT WHAT ANTHONY BLANCHE NEVER SAID THAT WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE" -- because you can botch the main characters for your remake, sure, but I am /not/ letting you screw around with Antoine -- and ended up just flipping through the last half of the book. My memory of Part Two is a little hazy because Part One is so much happier and I like it more.

So I found the scene where it's commonly understood that Charles confesses to Julia his earlier 'love' for Sebastian, implying that his love for Julia is not as genuine, as Sebastian was the 'forerunner'. Um, not really. I like to pretend it's as such because, I mean, it makes me happy to imagine Sebastian's soulbreaking love for Charles being returned. Nobody ever loved Sebastian the way he wanted. Anyway. The overtones, though, are more of his sentiments for Sebastian being a gateway into his involvement with Julia, which is what would be acknowledged as an actual romance. hence calling Sebastian the 'forerunner', as Charles did.

Don't get me wrong by thinking that I'm saying "BLARGH CHARLES SHOULD DITCH JULIA AND RUN BACK TO SAVE SEBASTIAN IN MOROCCO!!" because I'm not. really!! I feel just as sad for Julia as I do for Sebastian (and Charles, for that matter), and I really quite liked her as a character. Besides, Charles didn't love Sebastian as Sebastian loved him. While they did have an extremely 'romantic friendship,' as Cara called it, and they were probably quite adoring of each other, I believe Sebastian was in love with their friendship and Charles in love with the way of life into which Sebastian introduced him. Charles provided Sebastian with an escape from his family, and the feeling of having someone nobody else could steal from him -- and Charles's involvement with the Marchmain-Flytes destroyed all of that. I do believe that Charles felt a great deal of affection for Sebastian, maybe even infatuation for a while in Oxford, but he never fell in love with him.

Um, this is awkward. I have to get offline, haha. but I'll finish this tomorrow I suppose, if I don't forget everything I'm thinking by breaking this little stream of consciousness I've got going. I guess I'm trying to understand what I like so much about this story. Nobody ends up happy. Maybe that's why; it's hard not to take the characters as if they're people you really know, in real life. So you care for them. Goodness gracious. I need to stop typing. It's just odd that thinking about Brideshead used to make my heart go all aflutter and now it makes it ache. Lame, cheesy, and teenagegirlish, but true!! Someone send me to college so I can get a life. Seriously.

Sewing.

2009-12-23T04:36:55Z

So, um. I'm bad at it and want to make a living off of it. Haha what. But look at Stephenie Meyer, she did okay with her attempt at writing, so I'll survive.

But no seriously. I don't like Costume Design at school, and I only get to go to Mrs. Valerie's class once a week. the patterns we do in that class are extremely simple, anyway. but the good news is that after I finish making this blouse, I get to move on to the more advanced patterns! Only finally. I would quite like to learn how to do things like ruffles and pockets and whatnot. Y'know, skills one would actually use in real clothing design besides the sewing machine basics. I enjoy that class very much though. It's a lot easier to Get Stuff Done. At school, class is basically just like "MIZ WOMPERRRTT" "IT'S 'WALPERT' STUPID" "DOES ANYONE HAVE A SEAM RIPPARRR" "GAGA OOH LA LA" all the time. And there are four working sewing machines for eighteen students. Not to mention that this is kinda Mrs. Walpert's throwaway class that isn't actually about the dramatic arts, so she can leave the room and get stuff together for Acting 3 while ten annoyed teenagers form a queue to show her all of our completed basting stitches if she should ever decide to return.

AAANYWAY. Jeez, all that complaining. I feel a little black hole forming inside my chest just from spewing out all that negativity. Let's move on.

Today I went to SteinMart with my mom and learned that it doesn't suck.

The end. ... No actually I determined this by visiting the clearance hair accessories section and discovering the cutest feathery vintage headbands I have ever laid my eyes upon. I know they're overdone BUT I REALLY LIKE THEM OKAY? And I bought one. So now I want to go to Hancock, buy a bunch of drab grey fabric, throw together some type of gathered skirt, put it on with a corset, my pocketwatch, and the headband and do a photo shoot. I am so lame. I almost picked up a black-feathered clutch but couldn't figure out how to open it.

I am totally cleaning out my closet sometime during the winter break. Well, I mean, I'll keep everything I like. But there's too much crap from sixth grade that Plato's Closet would get better use of than I currently am. And I want to make room for clothes that I would either make myself, or that would be more like the style I want to evolve into. In other words, more muted colors, more feathers, more layers. But hopefully not an exact postergirl for Teen Vogue. I don't know. Something classier than it was in middle school. Ready to grow up a little, appearance-wise. (But only a little!)

Wow, who knew clothes were such a big deal? I'm such a teenager.

Now, back to gift-wrapping.

kusch @ 2009-11-29T03:56:00

2009-11-29T08:56:04Z

You can come to school on Monday and be OK because you'll know that I will protect you from Brandon and biology class and anything/body else giving you a hard time.

You're right, we never get to talk and it's weird. It feels like I'm seeing you less and less at school, probably due to me always being late in the mornings. [to answer your question: December 16th! so um, sometime in december The Shindig will happen. Gosh that looks like the title of a horror film.]

Don't worry about me!!! I added a third exclamation point for emphasis! I feel bad making you worry when you have so much more to be losing sleep over, though I hope you're not literally losing sleep. I am A-OK, for real. it's ... really really late so I should be getting offline but I will ramble about it later here on LJ so you will not have to stress over such nonsense. c: It's all good, I promise. Knowing that someone is concerned is enough for me. so thank you!

ok I know I sound really silly. I just need to go to sleep haha. I'll post again later. You probably won't see this for a day or two but I want you to be happy and enjoy your sugar cookies, and for your mom to get better (she is a sweetheart). ok that is all ♥

~~TIM FOR THE PREVIOUS POST AND IVO FOR THIS ONE.~~

Reblogging on Livejournal!

2009-11-29T04:30:56Z

[HEY, LYNDSEY.]

Why hello!!

[I STILL READ YOUR LJ. EVEN THOUGH I DELETED MINE. [x ]

I am pleased by this c: And why did you delete yours anyway?

[Also, I got a text from you, but couldn’t read it, as I had no minutes left on my phone.]

Ah! It said "Hello! this is Lyndsey! I hope you have a lovely Thanksgiving because I am thankful for YOU! just saying. You can carry about your daily business now." Give or take a few punctuation marks.

[However, my new phone should be arriving within a few days, and I’ll have unlimited text, so I’ll give you that number soon.]

Peachy keen!

[And may I ask how you are? You’re so busy worrying about everyone around you that you don’t seem to account for yourself. And I mean that in the most affectionate way.]

You probably don't know how genuinely happy I was to read those last three sentences, and I guess I cannot accurately put my feelings at that moment into words, but I hope this run-on sentence I am ambling through does the trick. ANYWAY!!
I've been ok c: A little confused about some things, recently, to be honest. Just kind of lost. Well, more than kind of. I'm sure you know the feeling.

Thank you thank you thank you for asking haha ♥ Would you be at all interested in attending a shindig at my house in coming weeks? I want to have some kind of happylovefest with close friends for my birthday. It's not final though. Actually I don't even know when I'll have it. But I'm just throwing the idea out there. Like fresh linens to the wind, at home on the prairie. Whoooosshh.

nobody reads this thing anymore

2009-11-24T02:44:26Z

but somehow I still feel slightly attached to it.

more mulligans

2009-11-11T04:15:33Z

HE WENT INTO THE GARAGE.

still watching Mulligans

2009-11-11T03:54:49Z

NOOOO TYLER DON'T GO INTO THE GARAGE

watching Mulligans

2009-11-11T03:16:00Z

I started watching it on LOGO after school today (I do not think I should be allowed to watch LOGO) and now I'm finishing it online.

STACEY DO NOT FOLLOW THEM INTO THE FOREST, that is all I am saying ):

Darren Hayes.

2009-10-25T01:52:27Z

Is outrageously attractive.

(I should be using that icon Emma made me for this post.)

(also EMMA WHY DO I MENTION YOU IN LIKE EVERY LIVEJOURNAL POST I MAKE)

whoa, dude!

2009-10-22T02:31:31Z

I didn't think I would be so deeply bothered by this! D8

My mom and I got ambushed by a Dead Sea Spa guy at the mall today. This is usually amusing because they're so eager to sell the product and are really energetic and stuff, except you have to always try to walk by them reallyreallyfast so they don't catch you in time. But we were not speedy enough, in this instance.

This was a very handsome young Israeli guy named Lio who I enjoyed staring at. He first got our attention my complimenting my nails and asking to see what colors I had on (they are rainbow). then he dragged me over and started showing us this nail strengthener or whatever. and my mom and I were all "oh haha that's quite nice but we have to go now." but then he was all NO WAIT I HAVE SOMETHING ELSE blah blah and he WOULDN'T STOP and I literally believe that my mom said "no we have to leave" nine or ten times, no exaggeration. he even cut the price three times and we still refused and tried to leave. so he finally just stepped back and shrugged and started guilt-tripping us. I'm serious. not verbally, but he pretended to look hurt and disappointed (not in the joking way, either). so we were like "oh jeez" and told him sorry, we just really had to go. Then he tried to give us the military discount. we are not a military family. I guess he SEEMED really really desperate, but I'm sure he's sold plenty of this stuff already with this kind of wacked-out sale strategy he was using :|

see, it would have been one thing if he'd let us go the first time we said no, and I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't even mind that much about the whole situation (except that it was slightly bothersome) if he hadn't started the whole sad puppy thing. I know it sounds silly for me to get so worked up about this, but it was just really insensitive. I know you're not supposed to take that kind of thing personally because it's just some random salesguy you're never going to meet again in your life, but I'm a type of person who can't help that. if a person starts acting like I hurt their feelings, whether they mean it or not, I get ultra distressed. so I didn't think that was quite fair of him to do that. it feels like one's being taken advantage of. I dislike it.

ANYWAY BESIDES THAT I had a great day. Just had to get that off my chest, though, haha.

♥

I'm in one of those irritating

2009-10-21T03:13:24Z

"PEOPLE REALLY SUCK" moods even though I know that they really don't suck too bad (especially today of all days). and I watched Powerpuff Girls after getting home from school so I should be absolutely chipper.

Side note: It feels like a Friday, despite being three days before.

boring entry is boring

kusch @ 2009-09-27T18:01:00

2009-09-27T22:32:19Z

I am growing increasingly worried about my acting skills, as of late. The only roles I have ever had that even remotely challenged me were Mrs. Hawkins in Treasure Island and one scene as Dory in The Carousel. And both of those were three years ago. I'd do them over again in a heartbeat, of course. But since then, I've only had comedic roles, boring ones, or serious ones that I couldn't take seriously. I've been told that I'm better in humorous scenes, but I love serious acting more (whenever I feel confident doing it).

I'm worried now that since it's been so long, I won't be able to really dedicate myself to an extensive role, if I should ever miraculously get one in the near future. Like, I feel myself growing out of my whole acting thing I've had going on. I distinctly recall being onstage for Seussical at the end of "Here on Who" during a bus-in show, hearing those really dumb high-school kids in the audience laugh at us, and thinking "wow I guess we do look really stupid." It wasn't a good feeling.

But still, knowing what it's like to be a PROPER actor (I'm not a good one but I know what it takes to make a good one), I still have the utmost respect for professionals even whenever I have doubts about doing it myself. Acting is a lot, a LOT more than memorizing lines and reciting them with expression. It's re-inventing a whole new life for yourself and a bunch of other poetic things that would take an hour to explain. So I hope that I'll be able to, um, rekindle that flame of mine or something. can you tell I'm bored of writing this. I have made my point now let's move on

I really really want to play Ros or Guil. or Hamlet. or Mark from RENT. I shake my fist at my double X chromosomes!!

the only reason I am posting

2009-09-26T18:23:14Z

is to show off this Brideshead Revisited icon. I didn't make it though. darn you Photoshop and your malfunctions

I'll be so sad when I finish this book.

I am feeling very artistically inclined.

2009-09-12T01:45:08Z

I feel like I've started a LOT of LJ posts with that sentence, and all of them were pointless. [edit: Guess what! This one is too!!]

Emma, you made me start watching Maurice, which is apparently pronounced "Morris". But I'm not watching past part four, because I won't finish it if you haven't yet. :B

Anyway, I've been watching several super-British movies lately, mostly from the 1890's-1920's. I really like England. They're so dapper over there, and speak so beautifully. I'd love to visit someday.

I feel like writing, but every time I feel like writing, I never do. Or it just turns out horrible. You know, I have a journal/diarything offline, too (not that you could really call this atrocity a diary), but I only use it when Absolutely Necessary.

I used to want to be a writer, but I realized that I absolutely can never finish stories after I first come up with them. I'll plan half of it out, draw the characters a lot, write three pages, and give up. I do not think that's a proper way to earn a living. So I turned my hopes to Project Runway, haha. That, or Cirque du Soleil. I don't know if either of those'll ever happen, but it's nice to have dreams. Speaking of dreams, I still want to be in CATS. Too bad I can't dance. )8 And that I'm not an alto. Jeez, Andrew, why'd you have to give the only non-dancing female character an alto solo, you know I can hardly hit a low B.